I recognize my faults; I am always conscious of my sins. I have sinned and done what I consider evil, which is make a joke about kale. So you are right in judging me; you are justified in condemning me. Anyway here is my kale joke in The Haven.
It may be interesting to you to know that I wrote it when I was alone in a cabin in the woods enduring several days of primordial animal terror. I kept a fire going, held tightly onto a metal fire poker, awaited my demise, read a copy of the New York Times I picked up before heading into the woods, and wrote this kale joke.