Feedback for the author (pt. 2)

Hm … gravestones, ticks, maybe there’s something there … but as far as I know, ticks don’t get on body parts that are covered.  Were they prancing around there naked?   And why are the paragraphs so short?

Feedback for the author

I could not make sense of this, despite how engaging and vivid it was. Why is the father doing this? What’s with the fuses? Is this real or imagined? Why was he rambling on about things that wouldn’t matter to a boy (or maybe girl?) who’s being held against his/her will? Why is the brother picking him/her up for swimming? Does he not live with them? Why doesn’t the father take him/her (although, even as I ask this, I can see why. But then it makes me wonder why this father is allowed anywhere near his child.) What is going on here? I was lost from the start and remained so until the end.